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I had no idea how I was going to sleep, much less work, workout and survive the next day. I mean, of course there would be the morning cardio and coffee. That always has a way of waking me up. Somehow, relaxing is absolutely impossible, even at one in the morning on a Hastens.

It’s kind of easy-going for personal training closer to Christmas time. Of course, once January comes, there will be even less sleep and even more coffee. But I suppose it doesn’t make much of a difference in our lives. We still have to follow the rules of the business book. Paperwork, emails, expenses. Every Monday when someone asks me how my weekend was, it’s always the same answer, no matter the season. I’m sure there are times when people think I just don’t want to talk about it. But, my weekends are the same as my weekdays. Which is a bit of a downer admitting that, isn’t it? Because it takes all the fun out of being an entrepreneur, doesn’t it? You spend day to day building something great, but it sounds so boring after awhile. Maybe I should go bowling, just to liven up my weekend stories.

And so, for hours I laid in my bed while my mind pestilently organized my life at one in the morning when my phone started to ring. I looked over, making sure AJ was asleep before I picked up the phone. “Hey,” I whisper. My sister was crying on the other end of the receiver. Her words were fast and slurred as I managed to hear her say, “I’m on your doorstep.” I grabbed the Ben and Jerry’s that I kept in the freezer in case of crossroads and emergencies. Somehow, I knew we were going to need it.

“If only I could go back! I would fix it,” she was crying. I repeated her words over slowly in my head as I fought the flicker of disappointment passing over my face. I figured I was supposed to offer some significant wisdom then. I didn’t know how much I had, though. For a moment, my stomach tightened in memory of being eighteen. The worst thing – the very worst thing of all – was the torment of wondering about tomorrow. What will become of me? Will it all work out in the end?

I wanted to make it better. I looked around the room, trying to summon the words to make it all go away, but somehow I knew words were empty. Still, I chose a few that I knew were true as I wrapped my arms around her and smiled as warmly as I could, “Hey. It’s going to be ok.”


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