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God knows, I try to have thick skin, but sometimes people’s gossip still gets to me. If you catch me on a bad day, I might give a shit. And I suppose today is one of those days.

Most people, normal people, are busy, right? The same way that I am. Except today I was reminded that I’ve grown up in the suburbs. Here is where ambition is scarce and religion isn’t challenged. Goals are postponed because we are preoccupied with our neighbours wife and as long as our children get good grades, we feel like we have something to brag about.

Let me blow the lid off this. There is a direct connection between your customs, choices and character to being able to successfully grow a business. To dispute that or hate on that is immature and ignorant. To assume that my business is building itself is ludicrous. Let me tell you a little story.

The first year after we opened FitNOW was probably the worst year of my life.

It was during this first year that I searched for myself everywhere. By the time I became a full time workaholic, I thought it prudent to figure out who I was in all of this.

Most of the previous clients we had didn’t follow us. I was deeply in love with AJ but the stress was preventing me from expressing it. My family had always been close, but it seemed everybody was going through shit, so I didn’t have the immediate support that I would have benefited from at 20 years old with, what felt like, the world on my shoulders. We bought our first house a block away from the studio. We hand picked every detail, went furniture shopping, built a fireplace. I was proud. This is what I wanted. This is what everybody wanted.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t deaf or dumb at the time and I saw all of the prying eyes and heard most of what was being said about us. I tried to put myself in the position of other people to understand what all of this looked like from the outside. It was some strange contradiction that I
was being punished for having what others wanted. But, to sympathize with the gossipers, at the risk of sounding like a complete jackass myself, we seemingly did have everything. Seemingly.

It wasn’t all bad. It brought AJ and I closer than ever. I didn’t grow up with an example of a healthy relationship, so I’ve strived to have one for myself. I was never a romantic or a daydreamer. I knew that there was more to life than marriage and money. Ladies, if you think love is going to catch you when you argue about sex and money and goals, it won’t. The only thing that’s going to get you through the hard times is trust, honesty and communication. AJ is even my cohort when I write. I rely on his opinion and I value his input.

Clearly, my attitude towards green eyes has evolved. I’ve had to learn to detach myself from caring what others have to say about me. But, maybe being hungry and tired at 7 weeks out lit a match under my ass this morning.

A woman can be intelligent, sexual and thoughtful. She can run a business, support her partner and look polished and sultry at the same time. I’m faced with my own aging processes, too. And let me tell you, nothing ever comes out of luck. I choose to appreciate what I’ve been blessed with and I’m determined to make it grow. Watch me,


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